Teddy’s Birth Day

Dear Teddy,

Today is the day you turn one!  Happy Birthday, little guy.  I’d like to tell you a little story about the day that you were born…

My pregnancy with you was much more difficult than with Jack.  It was relatively problem-free, only much more painful and uncomfortable.  Which probably had something to do with the fact that we not only put the house on the market in my first trimester, had an average of three showings a week through the second trimester, and moved when I was about 29 weeks pregnant, but we then we proceeded to have almost the entire interior of the house painted, we renovated the kitchen, and had several additional repairs completed throughout the inside and outside of the house.  So, it was a busy time, not to mention the fact that I had Jack to look after.  So, needless to say, I did not love being pregnant the second time around.  But I did love food… I craved all kinds of foods this time around… Texas Pete’s hot sauce, Squirt, chocolate cake, cinnamon rolls, cool whip, pretzel fish, cupcakes (lord have mercy the cupcakes), popsicle, humus and pita chips, rotisserie chicken, and chocolate milk.

I had been having contractions the entire month of October and by the last week of my pregnancy I went to bed nearly every single night almost positive that I was having the baby that night, with contractions close to ten minutes apart.  On October 29 (my due date) I dropped Jack off at preschool and went to my OB appointment.  After arriving I told the nurse that I was absolutely miserable and was planning on begging to be induced as soon as possible.  The doctor gave me my exam and told me I was still about 2 cm dilated (I had been for two weeks).  So she “lightly” stripped my membranes… which was horribly uncomfortable.  And asked me if I wanted to schedule an induction.  Yes, please!  So the nurse did everything she could to schedule me in for the following day, because my doctor was on call.  I then went home packed my bag and proceeded to have lots of contractions all night long, but nothing very regular or very painful at all.

I woke up at about 4:30am on October 30, ready and waiting for the call that was supposed to come in at 5:30am, about whether or not the hospital was ready for us to come in or if they would have us come later.  So I waited.  And waited.  And finally called them at 6am.  “Oh, yeah, didn’t they tell you… if they have a bed for you then they’ll call.  Otherwise just wait for the call.”  Ug.  So we waited.  And waited.  And at about 11:00am I laid down for a nap and E took Jack outside to play.  And the phone rang.  ”Um, where have you been!  We’ve been calling and calling.”  The wrong number.  Our old number from our old house.  Why they had that number, I still don’t know.  I checked and double checked when I scheduled the induction the day before.  Anyway, so we freaked out and high-tailed it to the hospital to have the baby!

We arrived right before noon, checked in, and my doctor checked me and broke my water.  I was 4 cm dilated and pretty much in labor.  They monitored my contractions for about an hour and after an hour my contractions weren’t as regular as they would have liked them to be.  So they decided to give me a little pitocin to nudge things along.  At this point I was so hungry I could pass out, not having eaten at all that day.  So the nurse brought me some jello and an orange popsicle.  And for the record, that was the best damn popsicle I’ve ever had.  Anyway, where was I… the pitocin.  Prior to giving me the pitocin, my nurse asked me if I wanted my epidural before the pitocin or after the contractions got going.  I said after, since I was in no pain at all at the time… and why would I want an epidural if I wasn’t in any pain?  Big mistake.  BIG mistake.  I had enough time to eat a jello cup and a popsicle and by the time I started the second jello cup the contractions come on at full force, leaving the nurse scrambling to get me pumped with fluid and to get the anesthesiologist.  I was in a ridiculous amount of pain for what seemed like forever.  After the epidural was working and I was comfortable, they checked me and low and behold, I was 10 cm dilated.

But let’s back up a bit.  The contractions.  I just have to write a bit about them.  Because they were horrible.  Terrible.  Awful.  And I absolutely must get this in writing, so that when I start thinking about #3 (which I have already), I can just remind myself… and remember that epidural.  Anyway, so I’m clutching onto the side rail of the bed, and the contraction rips through me like a white light, so intense that I feel like I’m going to tear in half, I look up at E, and he’s on his crackberry (I mean Blackberry), messaging away.  He claims that he was sending an email to my mom… but he will forever be in the doghouse for that one.  I swear.  I seriously would not have survived (well, I’m sure I would have but at the time I did not feel like I would have) without my nurse.  When she was not frantically searching out the anesthesiologist, screaming down the hall, “I NEED YOU NOW!”, she was at my side.  Talking me through my breathing.  At one point I was leaning forward rolled up in a ball (probably right before the needle for the epidural was inserted) tucked into her chest.  And I seriously felt like I was all tucked up in her.  Like she enveloped me and was taking on some of this pain for me.  I know it probably sounds crazy, but it’s almost a little spiritual.   Or something like that.  It’s truly amazing, the places you go when you are in that kind of pain.  And this woman was amazing.  She had her shit together and knew exactly what she is doing.  If I have another baby, I want her there.

Ok, so where was I… oh, right 10 cm dilated!  And my doctor is nowhere to be found.  I’m not sure how long we were waiting, but it was awhile and the nurses (my favorite had to leave… shift change… and two others took over) were getting very concerned about whether she was going to make it.  And of course she did.  I started pushing and she waltzed in, all easy breezy, as usual, happy to see me and all, “let’s have a baby!”  So I pushed for about thirty minutes and at 4:17pm we  had a beautiful baby boy.  With lots of black hair.  You weighed 8 pounds and 6 ounces, (a whole pound heavier than your brother) and 20.5 inches long.

We named you Theodore Evan George.  Theodore, even though it’s one of  your brother’s middle names because I always loved the name Teddy, Evan is for my mother’s mother Evelyn and George is for your Daddy’s grandpa George, who just passed away a few weeks ago.  And I’m so glad we named you for him because as much as everyone else loved him, I did too.  From the first time I met him, he was so sweet and kind to me, he called me “kiddo” and I loved him like he was my own Grandpa.  I can’t imagine two better people to be named for.  Two people that stand out in my mind in such a positive way.

Teddy, what a crazy ride it’s been.  It was a little rocky of a start for us (well for me it was)… a spinal headache from the epidural in the hospital, a third degree tear, and some pretty ridiculous post partum depression.  But I can honestly tell you that God only gives you what you can handle.  And although it was a difficult start, my love and connection to you only strengthened through it all.  You made me stronger.  You made me calm (except for that time you had RSV) and you were exactly what I needed.  You made me want to be a better mother and a better wife and a better person.  Your differences from Jack (which are insanely different) help to balance our house perfectly.  And until you were born things just didn’t quite feel right.  What an amazing addition to our family you have been!  You are calm and sweet and only speak up when you are hungry, tired or if you have had your fill of Jack’s harassment.  You love for your brother is like nothing I’ve ever seen.  And while he gives you some serious trouble, you just keep coming back for more.  It’s so exciting to see you getting bigger (catching up with your brother) and learning to crawl then walk and interact with Jack.  It makes me so excited to see your relationship grow.  You will always have your brother and he will always have you.  I feel blessed knowing that you two have each other, a friend for life.  Never forget that.

Thank you for being born to me, my sweet boy.  You and your brother fill me up, in a way that I cannot describe.  I can’t imagine my world without you in it.  I love you so so much.  Happy Birthday Teddy!

Love,

Mom