Separation Anxiety

Yesterday I took Jack to the crazy YMCA pool/water park extravaganza, conveniently located three minutes from our house.  We met up with one of the girls from the neighborhood and her little boy, who is about a month younger than Jack (and slightly more advanced in his mobility).  It was insane.  Children everywhere.  Screaming.  Running.  Splashing.  Swimming underwater two inches from my ass.  Jack and Brady had a great time splashing each other and crawling in and out of the beach-like shallow end of the pool, while randomly grabbing strangers toys, sunblock, towels and whatever else they could get their hands on.  It was completely exhausting but it was good to see that Jack loves the pool.  Just about as much as he loves the tub. 

Later that night, I gave Jack a bath to wash off the 17 layers of sunblock and the smell of chlorine and pee.  He was screwing around in the tub, much like at the pool earlier in the day.  Which, personally, I hate.  I can’t stand it when he crawls in the tub.  Or he trys to stand up.  Why can’t he just sit down and play?  So, he’s crawling around and slips, as he fell forward, he took a gigantic gulp of water.  Then proceeded to cough and choke and sputter for several minutes.  And it wasn’t the choking on the water that bothered me, because I knew he was ok.  It was the fact that he was terrified.  Bawling.  Totally freaked out and clutching onto me.  After he calmed down and I put his lotion and diaper and jammies on, we went downstairs.  I sat him down on the floor so I could make him a bottle and he freaked out.  And for the rest of the night he clung to me.  Laid his head on my shoulder (which he just does not do… he is too busy for that) and occasionally lifted his head to give me a kiss.  We read books and he would look back at me with his head cocked to the side and he’d look at me longingly.  And all I could think is – I have to leave this kid for FIVE days next week.  I can’t do it.  I just can’t.  How am I supposed to leave him?  I know I need it.  I just can’t stop thinking about how he needs me.  And what if…he chokes, or he gets a really high fever and gets sick, or what if the dog bites him, or what if I come home and he hates me for abandoning him so I could go have fun without him?? 

It’s pathetic, I know.  Waay back in there in that brain of mine, I know we both need this.  It’ll be good for him to know that I can leave and that I do come back.  He’ll be just fine.  And I’ll be able to actually talk to E.  And eat a meal.  While having a conversation with someone else.  And I’ll be able to shop for more than thirty minutes at a time.  Without having to stop to change a diaper or get a snack.  It’s crazy, to look at this person I’ve become.  It wasn’t long ago that I liked to go to bars.  And if it wasn’t packed, I mean – to the gills, with people, then I was bored.  Now I can barely stand to be in a room where someone is smoking, let alone a room full of smoke and people.  And don’t get me started about crowds.  Hate them.  Before I would dream about big birthday parties with lots of shots and dancing.  Three years ago I couldn’t see myself with a kid before I turned 30.  Now I’m about to be 30 and don’t want to be away from my kid for more than a few hours.  Instead of shots and dancing, I long for a Volvo and a cute apron.  AN APRON!  Last night I told E I really wanted something for my birthday.  Wendy’s.  A big greasy burger.  And a Volvo.  And an apron.  Yeah, I know.

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Chicago!

                  

                      

                               

                     

     

                                        

     

We went to the Windy City for the Memorial Day holiday weekend, to visit Toots and my best friend from high school, Andrea (and her hubs – E’s good friend from law school).  It was so much fun!!  They just moved to a really amazing building in a great part of town, close to Navy Pier and only couple blocks away from Michigan Ave shopping and tons of the great restaurants.  We went for lots of long walks around the city, did some shopping, did plenty of eating (including ice cream – WOO HOO! and Chicago style pizza), we visited the children’s museum at Navy Pier (and had our stroller stolen… and then we found it… haha!), Andrea and I got pedicures at the Red Door Salon, we took the kids out for a nice dinner – where I discovered that Jack loves polenta, and had breakfast with Toot’s Grandma and Grandpa (Andrea’s Mom and Dad – who I haven’t seen in ages). 

Jack did really well on the plane on the way up there and on the way home.  Well, he was a little bit of a handful on the way up there, but he was a pro by the time we came home.  His schedule was a little out of whack… and his sleeping/napping was a little difficult, but overall he did really well.  I was very impressed with how flexible a child he is, considering how rigid I have been with his schedule.  It was a great time and we can’t wait for our next visit!!

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TV!

Grey’s!  OH. MY.  Meredith.  I’m tired of the DRAMA in your relationship with McDreamy!!  Stop it already!  He lays it all out for you and what do you do?  What you ALWAYS DO!  Walk away.  Unbelievable.  Ok.  What the heck happened to Burke?  Who does that to a person?  A coward.  That’s who.  I hope he’s off the show.  Ok, so what the hank is going on with George FLUNKING?! And a BABY? What?! What are they thinking? I doubt they’ll make it through three episodes of next season. Oh, and CALLIE as CHIEF??!?? WHAT? Can you tell how surprised I am by this!? I can’t stand her. And I have no idea why. And Izzie? Get it together. He’s married. And you are being so lame. Last but not least… did anyone notice that the new intern that George talked to at the end of the show was the girl that McDreamy met in the bar??  AND it’s Meredith’s step-sister???  OH. MY.

The Bachelor: Officer and a Putz– Ok, so I can never ever ever call these shows.  I always pick a favorite and the guy never ever picks the girl I like.  For instance… I thought Andrew Firestone would have been perfect with Tina Fabulous.  But, hey what do I know.  Anyway, back to the current putz.  I was totally thrown off.  And they do it the same way every season.  They let you think it’s going to be the crazy one and he ends up picking the normal one.  I just couldn’t see him with Bevin.  And that huge tattoo on her back.  It was huge.  Like something a guy in the military should have on his back.  I have to say I was pretty fired up that he chose Tessa… even though she looked like she was going to puke in that dress.  Totally washed her out. 

Desperate Housewives:  Ok, pure craziness.  Gaby… oh, my goodness!  How did I not see this whole Victor thing coming??  What a slimey son of a mother!  This is definitely going to get good next season.  Edie!  Holy Moses!  Is she really dead?!  It can’t be… who will be the neighborhood whore?!  Bree (by the way – what on Earth is Bree short for?  such a dumb name)… what a boring direction to take that whole situation.  And she looked ridiculous at Gaby’s wedding.  It looked like she had a beach ball under her dress.  And her belly seemed to get smaller and smaller throughout the show.  The whole storyline with Susan is so incredibly boring.  Blah Blah Blah.  But, that little wedding was pretty cute… I wish I would have used paper lanterns (like I really wanted to do) at my wedding.  So pretty.   

LOST: Oh boyohboyohboy!!!  SOooooo Good!!  I love this show!  Where to start… I’m wracking my brain here… so much happened.  Let’s see, Locke.  I knew there was no way he was dead.  Walt?!  Where the heck has he been?  And where’s Michael?  And the girl that parachuted onto the island… what the heck is going on there??  I thought Ben was full of crap… trying to talk Jack into handing over the radio thingie.  That whole storyline with Jack was so screwy… the future rather than the past – like they usually do it.  So they get off the island?  And who’s funeral was that?  Sawyer’s?  And Jack loves Kate… how convenient.  Now who the heck does she love?  So Charlie’s pretty much dead.  And what’s going to happen to Desmond?!  How messed up was that that was Penny??  I’m wondering if that Russian dude (that Desmond shot with the dart gun) is like Locke… and just doesn’t die.  Hmmm.  Now, who wasn’t fired up to see Jack beat the crap out of Ben?  And see Hurley save the day?  So, I’m wondering why the others didn’t shoot Sayid and the other two.  Ok, so that’s all I can remember for now.  Looking forward to next season!  Woo Hoo!

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Finally! Pictures From Grammy’s Visit!

   

                              

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Visitors, Vacations, and Celebrating… OH MY!

We just wrapped up a great little visit with my mom.  It was so good to see her (and actually talk to her) and relax a little with an extra helping hand.  She is about to temporarily retire from a ridiculously stressful job, which requires her to commute back and forth to Indy from MI every week.  Personally, I’m not sure how she’s done it this long… and I’m really glad that she’s finishing it up, because she’s unbelievably busy all of the time and it’s very hard to stay in touch with her at a level that we usually do (and I’m sure is slightly unhealthy… but hey, there’s nothing like having your mother know every intimate detail of your life, including the regularity of your BM’s… kidding).  Anyway, I digress.  This job has been a great experience for her, and has put her in a position in her career that she really deserves.  But, on the other hand, she is newly married and I can only imagine what it must be like to say goodbye to your newly-wedded husband every week, only to return at the end of each week completely exhausted, with 789 errands to complete over the weekend before you do it all over again.  Ug.  So, I’m hoping that her visit with us was somewhat relaxing, as she enters into her final week in Indy before she can retire to her lovely home, with her hubs, conveniently located on Lake Michigan. 

It was great to see her and complain about everything I could think of catch up on everything going on in each other’s lives.  And I was so glad to an extra set of hands to help out with Jack.  She was able to see the tornado of a human being Jackson has become, and express to me that he really is a “handful”.  I’ve honestly been feeling like quite a wimp lately.  I’ve been wondering how on EARTH I’m ever going to have another child… because I can barely deal with Jack.  And seriously, everyone talks about how hard the toddler stages are.  I just didn’t think I was going to be such an enormous wimp.  I mean, I nanny/babysat for years and years and years as a high schooler and college student… and I just don’t remember it being so hard.  So, just hearing from my mother that I have an actual “handful” on my hands made me feel a tiny bit better. 

This visit with my mother has officially started The Busiest Z-fam Summer Eva.  We are so unbelievably predictable and boring and rarely have anything going on.  Usually we go to MI every summer for vacation (nearly the exact same week every year)… and then again at Christmas.  And a few long weekends out of town here and there.  Occasionally we’ll have a visitor.  But in actuality, we lead a pretty boring life.  You can almost bet your butt that every Friday night we’ll be eating pizza and watching (E, very begrudgingly) What Not to Wear.  I am a creature of habit… so much so that it’s a bit freakish.  But, that’s a completely different, very long and boring post in itself.  Anyway, so where was I?  Busy Summer, right.  Mom’s visit this weekend.  Chicago next weekend.  Wedding and festivities the following weekend.  NY a very long extended weekend after that.  Then my brother and sister-in-law are in town for another very long weekend the weekend after that (to help me do some serious celebrating – WOO HOO).  And my big 3-0 is in there somewhere.  Then there’s the 4th and then JZ and I are taking a summer vacation in MI (minus Daddy) followed by possibly a trip to Bald Head Island with Toots.  So!  We have quite the busy summer ahead of us!  And don’t you love how I’ve laid out all of my travel plans for those crazy stalker types that have figured out my last name and address?  Robbers!  Please don’t steal all our worldly possessions… especially that really big box of cords upstairs in the junk spare room!  Oh, and stay far, far away from the drawer of old cell phone chargers in the kitchen!  You never know when I’m going to need a broken cell phone’s charger!  To make that bomb, along with some soy sauce from 2002 and liquefied 2 month old asparagus in the fridge… DON’T TAKE THAT EITHER!

Ok, so I’ll have pictures from Grammy’s visit later today or tomorrow…  having some issues with that right this second.  Hope you all had a great weekend!!

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Yes, This Is My Child

Ok, so don’t worry, he didn’t drink any of that beer…

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Happy Mother’s Day

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Quick Little Funny

Jack has taken to imitating random noises lately… cars, hooting (you know, woo hoo), a kitty’s meow… you get the idea.  Anyway, the other day, I’m doing some Internet shopping research on how to handle toddler tantrums, while the Jacker-doodle-doo is fast asleep in his crib taking his afternoon nap.  In the distance I can hear a fire engine from one of the local fire departments (two of which are conveniently located within walking distance from our house… although they won’t be putting out any fires here because I don’t donate to their organization… sorry, I digress).  Where was I?  Oh, right, the fire engine.  RrooOOooRrooOOoo… in the distance.  Then, I can hear some movement from Jack’s room on the monitor followed by, “RoooOOOOooo RoooOOOooo.”  I swear I almost peed my pants. 

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Let’s Talk TV

TV.  Aaahh.  Who doesn’t love a little TV?  Well, I do.  I admit that I hardly have the television on during the day these days… even on the cruddy days.  It’s just too hard to get into a show with a screaming toddler climbing my leg, pulling my hair, or playing the piano (oh, the blessed piano… as annoying as it is, it has saved me from many melt-downs… the kid loves to play his piano and dance.)  Ok, so here’s what I’m loving these days.

1. Grey’s.  Ok, so last week just flat out sucked.  So incredibly boring… which we discussed over at Sarah’s recently… so I won’t get into detail.  Besides the terrible attempt at a spin-off, I’m loving it.  So is McDreamy really going to call it quits with Meredith… doubtful.  And Izzie and George?  Interesting… but what happened to her paralyzing heart ache over the untimely death of her fiance, Denny?  And is it me or does McSteamy get hotter and hotter every episode?  Can’t they do another scene with him in a towel??
2. Lost.  My oh my.  Ok, so some people are growing tired of Lost… but NOT ME.  I love this show.  Ok, so are they all dead… or is that what they want us to think??  And this week (tonight!) is going to be a goody (it better be) because Ben is supposedly going to start explaining some of the secrets of the island to Locke. 
3. The View.  Ok, so it’s finally official!  Elizabeth is prego… but she’s not due until November.  So I guess she wasn’t when I actually thought she was.
4. Desperate Housewives.  Not much to talk about here besides how much Susan annoys me.  Oh, and I was pretty shocked at the outcome of the whole Lynette situation.  Oooh, and what about that outburst of Victor’s toward Gabby!  Holy Moses.
5. Ok ok ok.  I admit it.  I’ve been watching the bachelor.  And yes, he’s a putz, like all of the previous bachelors (with the exception of Andrew Firestone… oooooohh la la).  I actually feel kind of bad for the guy because he seems pretty genuine.  And you can tell that he’s almost always shitfaced.  And from what I hear about this show, they (the people behind the show) make it pretty impossible not to be.  Anyway, so let’s see.  Bevin.  Is it possible that there could be anyone more annoying?  Oh, wait!  Stephanie South Carolina… thank God that girl got sent home.  Danielle.  He’s not into her at all… either that or he really is and they’re not showing a bit of that footage (similar to the Andrew Firestone season… I had no clue he’d pick Jen).  Anyway, my bets are on Tessa.  Well, that’s who I like.  But I’m not so sure that she’s actually into him! haha!  Now wouldn’t that be a funny ending?  But with my history with this show – he’ll pick Bevin.  And I’ll be shocked and horrified.  Then they’ll break up before the season finale even airs. 

Ok.  So that’s it for now.  I’m hoping to have some pictures or video of the kiddo later in the week.  I’ve been trying to catch him doing something funny (well, something in particular that he’s been doing lately).  So, we’ll see.  Hope everyone’s having a great week!

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Quick List

Ok, so I have to admit… I haven’t been in the blogging mood lately.  Does it show?  Well, first of all, the weather here has been absolutely perfection (not to brag, really because it’s not long before it’ll be so hot that we can’t go anywhere) anyway, so I’ve been trying to get the little man and myself outside as much as possible to take advantage of the loveliness.  That and my sidebar (in the blog… where my blogroll and all that other crap is) was all messed up and every time I sat down to write a post I thought about how I needed to fix that.  So then I’d get up from the computer and go procrastinate while doing dishes (oh, the endless dishes) or one of the 576 loads of laundry to be done (where does all of this laundry come from… I’m wearing the same Adidas shorts and tank top practically every day of the week… ok, TMI, not reeeeally every day but… whatever, I’m lazy).  Where was I?  Who the hell knows.  Ever notice that my parenthesis are being abused?  So.  Enough rambling!  I have a list.  I have been wandering around the web (instead of fixing the sidebar… which is fixed by the way) and I’ve found some pretty cool stuff recently online.  So here’s a quick list of what I’m loving right now…

1. I absolutely love this skirt.  And I must have it… maybe Jack will get it for me for Mother’s Day (hint hint).
2. I have to admit that I don’t own anything from here.  Butttt… check this out.  I think I’m going to need it in all three colors.
3. Design Mom.  This site is amazing.  I am in love.  Seriously.  Ok, so somehow I fell onto this site and some of the things I’m loving now came from her site.  Or from comments on her site.  It’s great to have these little avenues because there is so much amazing stuff out there on the WORLD WIDE WEB.  I say it with emphasis because it’s funny to me.  Inside joke to myself.  haha. 
4. Look what Martha’s been up to lately.  I think I know a few people that are going to be fired up to see some of the scrapbooking stuff.  Like this and this.  Personally, I’m loving this (oh how I love gift wrap… it’s a sickness, you know) and this (and a close second to gift wrap is lovely ribbon).
5. Amy Butler.  Beautiful fabric.  She also has free patterns available to download.  I’m considering the hourglass pillows… when I can find some time to be crafty.  But seriously, look at all of the great ideas.

Ok, so there you have it!  I’ll try to do this regularly if anyone is interested… Personally, I always love finding great new sites and places to shop:)  Let me know if you’ve found anything perfect.  Maybe it’s a top, or a site, or a drink (because sometimes we all need a drink), or maybe just something yummy (like this)… I always love a list in my comments.  What can I say, list lover. Have a great weekend!

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