Um, I Was Trapped Under a Very Large Pile of Tissues… or Something Like That

Ok, so I took a month off.  Yeah, I wasn’t really planning on it, but I was so tired of the blog after the 30 day thing and I kept saying I’d write something tomorrow until it was like today and it’s been over a month.  So, yeah, sorry about the ridiculous hiatus and all, hope I didn’t worry anyone.  So here’s an update on us, list style.  Because I’m feeling listy.

1. Teddy.  My little tank.  Ted weighed in at his 6 month check up at about 18 and a half pounds.  I took him in last week, along with Jack (because Jack was sick) to have him checked out to see if he had an ear infection and at that point he was 19.5 pounds.  Then I took him in Wednesday (he was sick) and he was 20 lbs 2 oz.  Monster baby gained a pound in a week.  This kid amazes me.  Jack weighed in today (well visit… yeah, they’re getting really sick of seeing me) at 28 lbs.  hehe… Jack sprat…
2. So the other day when we were at the doctor’s office… which time is not really relevant.  Anywho, I held my hand out to catch the elevator door and it CLOSED ON MY HAND.  Not kidding.  I managed to grab the door with my other hand to sort of hold it open, meanwhile screaming in my ridiculous scratchy voice, from being sick, “HELP ME HELP ME!!”  Not kidding.  Then finally I realized I could open the door by hitting the elevator call button.  So I did.  Nothing is broken.  I just have a ridiculous bruise and a sore hand and a big time bruised ego.  Yeah, I had to go back there today.  For another checkup.  Geez.  I think they all thought I was nuts.  They were all really sweet about it and took good care of me and all.  But seriously, I can’t believe I did that.
3. Jack handled the whole elevator situation quite well.  Well, not at first he didn’t.  I thought he’d be traumatized for life.  But when we were leaving and the nurse and doctor were helping me out to the car (yeah, so I could feel stupid all the way to the car and they could see my complete wreck of a car and dig in my wreck of a purse full of dirty tissues to get my nasty keys out… geez) anywho, as we were all getting into the elevator on our way out, Jack says, “don’t do that again mommy… you got to be careful or you get your fingers pinched in the door.”  He reminded me again today as we arrived at the office.  Yeah, thanks.
4. So.  E, my wonderful husband got me a fantastic mother’s day gift.  A plane ticket to Chicago to visit Andrea (my BFF) for a long weekend, by myself.  No children!  Woo Hoo!  So last week Jack got sick – bad cold with some wheezing we had to treat with a nebulizer (at urgent care) and an inhaler (at home).  He was finally better by Thursday and I was to leave on Friday morning.  But by Thursday evening I was coming down with it.  And by Friday I was sporting a sore throat and a cough.  Long story short I had a terrible sore throat, cough, hardly a voice at all and my head and ears were plugged up so I could barely hear anything at all pretty much all weekend.  Yeah, it was a major bummer.  We still had a good time shopping and hanging out but I was feeling pretty bad and wasn’t sleeping much at all at night.  So, I’m still pining away for a weekend away… just hoping that maybe I’ll get another trip away from home for my birthday.  Or something like that.  A girl can dream, right?
5. Teddy is a rolling, scooting, tootin’ fool.  The tootin’ part was for fun.  Although he does poop like a champ.  Let me rephrase that.  He poops way too much.  I am changing, on average, six poopies a day… yes, I’m still changing Jack’s poopies too (I will revisit the potty training again soon… hopefully, but seriously if I wait long enough he’ll just do it himself, right?)… where was I?  Oh poopies.  Yeah, six a day, and one day I counted seven and then said “THAT’S ENOUGH!  I’VE OFFICIALLY HAD IT, YOU’VE HIT YOUR QUOTA FOR THE DAY AND YOU’RE GOING TO HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL YOUR FATHER GETS HOME TO GET THAT ONE CHANGED.”  For real.  So, where was I… rolling.  So yeah, he’s been rolling around like it’s his job for about a month now.  He rolled over at about five months then didn’t do it again for a few weeks then a few weeks later he started rolling around the room – just like Jack used to.  He’s a little chunky (uh, ya think, maybe 20 lbs????) so he has a hard time getting his fat legs under him to push up to crawl, so I get the sense he won’t crawl much or if so it’ll be late.  He sits up without help – which is awesome.  I’ve been working on that for a few weeks.  Starting with the bumbo, then the boppy (for a little less support), then a crash pillow, and now he’s pretty solid.  With an occasional fall, usually due to a larger force (aka Action Jackson knocking him over for fun because it’s fun to make him cry).
6. Jack is making me crazy.  I love him.  And he is so funny and fun.  But seriously.  He is making me crazy.  He has the devil in him.  The constant testing me and telling me no and the not listening and the freaking out I do on a regular basis to let him know that I’m almost crazy so you better get it together and listen to me mister or else you’ll see what crazy is all about, it’s all really making me crazy.  I do not enjoy the age of three.  The end.  I’m telling you.  The buttons have been pushed.  Oh have they been pushed my friends.  He says to me earlier today, “I’m sorry Mommy, I’m just acting like a lunatic.”  Don’t you know it.
7. So that’s about it for now.  I’ve been busy.  Sick and busy.  So I apologize for the ridiculous hiatus without explanation, until now.  Hopefully I will be back on a more regular basis.  Hope you’re all doing well!!!

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Funk and Some Other Junk

A list… because I’m lazy.

1. Teddy bear.  What a laid back kid.  It just totally amazes me what a completely different kid he is.  He’s so mellow and just rolls with the punches.  He wakes up everyday and plays in his crib.  I never feel like I have to rush in there.  He just patiently waits, chatting away to himself.  When I do get to him he lights right up at the sight of me.  He’s still waking in the night.  Two nights this week I put a little less than a teaspoon of rice cereal in his last bottle of the night (BOO HISS… terrible mother, you should never, tisk tisk tisk, blah blah blah) and he woke up at 5am, then 8.  Which is much better than what he usually does without it… 2 or 3am, then 5 or 6am, then up for the day at 7:30.  Sooo… I’m not sure I’ll continue it.  I know I’m not supposed to do it, I’m just dieing for longer stretches of sleep.  I just don’t get it… the kid is a tank.  He’s huge and eats like a man.  Yet, doesn’t even seem close to sleeping through the night.  Am I way off here?  Thinking that he should be??  I need to revisit the Baby Whisperer and see if there’s another route I can take.  Otherwise we just might stick with a little cereal for mommy’s sanity.
2. JackJackJackJack Jack.  Yesterday Jack told me (when I was half paying attention) that he was going to hit Teddy with his piccolo-dactyl (a terradactyl with a body of a piccolo… Little Einsteins).  And he did.  Repeatedly.  All of which happened over the course of a few seconds and it didn’t register what he had said until I heard Teddy freaking out.  Today he couldn’t resist himself, while I was on the phone with my Dad (the first time talking to him since his hip replacement surgery), and he sat next to Teddy on his gym thingie (with the danglie stuff overhead) and kicked him in the head.  He kicked his brother’s head.  On purpose.  I know it was on purpose, because I watched it happen.  What happened to my good little boy?  Sure he’s been a button pusher for quite some time, but seriously he’s never been one to hurt people.
3. I’ve been doing the South Beach Diet for a little over a week now.  And honestly it is a total joke.  I am the biggest cheater ever.  I make up my own rules (I can have one glass of wine, honey with my yogurt, Weight Watcher desserts, oh and this peanut butter cup isn’t going to hurt me, crepes for Christopher’s birthday – it was his birthday for pete’s sake, I had to, cupcakes for Obama’s inauguration) and then I can understand why it’s not working.  So about two pounds fell off pretty quickly.  And that’s been about it.
4. I’m sure you’re wondering how the 30 Day Shred is going, right?  Well it’s not.  It was going great.  I was into about a week of Level 2 and somehow started doing something very wrong and found it very difficult to do regular everyday tasks because my lower back was in so much pain.  And just when I think it’s starting to get better I do about 700 too many squats while holding Teddy (which is something he likes too much to help lull him to sleep) and I’m right back where I started.  Geez.  I’m so tired of this baby weight.  I feel like someone is following me around all day, and every time I turn around I realize it’s just my ass.  And this wrinkley old lady belly.  God forbid I actually look down at it while blow drying my hair upside down.  It’s freaks me right out.  It reminds me of Oprah’s flappy flag arms.  Just a flapping in the wind.
5. Today is the first day of sun we’ve had in about a week.  Or so it seems.  And seriously that is like an eternity down here.  It’s usually so sunny here that I’m enjoying the clouds and gloom.  Nope.  I am so ready for the sun.  And the warm weather.  And long walks in the evening.  And wine on the patio.  And taking the kiddos to the Y pool.  And playgroup at the park.  The sprinkler, and popsicles, and cookouts, and flip-flops.    Thank goodness January is almost over.

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I Have to Make This Quick Because I’m Pretty Sure I Haven’t Peed Yet Today

A list!  What a surprise!  And only because I do not think it’s possible for me to think and communicate in any other form… 

1. Sick sick sick.  Three weeks ago Jack was sick, the following week I was sick (very very sick), then Teddy was sick (and in the middle of it all Jack was sick again with a stomach bug… yuck), and now Jack is sick again!  Oh my holy goodness (a Jackism) I cannot take it anymore!!
2. So, shortly after my rainbows and butterflies post the walls came crumbling down, I got sick, went a little batty, got a glimpse at what it’s like to see a sick newborn and I quickly had a fantastic panic attack.  I suppose that’s what I get for gloating about how wonderful life is.  No, really, in all seriousness, the anxiety is pretty difficult to deal with this time around.  Luckily I have a great support system and I’m working on it.  So hopefully it’ll only get better from here on out.
3. The Jackisms these days are killing me…  Teddy has been referred to as a Grumy Wizard (Little Einsteins) and a Grumpy Old Troll (Dora), dinosaurs are dinoswords, holy goodness, he holds a star on the Christmas tree and says “star light, star light”,  when he’s in a good mood he gives E or myself a hug and says, “Merry Christmas, Daddy”, and he told his preschool teacher (Miss Tammey) that he sat on Santa’s lap and asked for boobie traps for Christmas.
4. I am still working on the birth story.  I swear.
5. I’m not sure I will ever finish the Christmas shopping.  Let alone get it all wrapped.
6. Teddy continues to amaze me with his insatiable hunger and inability to sleep any longer than four hours in a row (with an occasional five hour stretch… usually followed by a two or three hour stretch).  So we still are not getting very much sleep.
7. Speaking of sleep… last night Jack woke up with a fever right in the middle of Teddy’s long stretch.  Then again in the middle of his short stretch.  And E somehow ended up sleeping on the floor in Jack’s room.  What a way to start your 34th year of life.  Speaking of which…
8. Happy Birthday babe.  Hopefully your day is much better than our night last night.
9. Sarah… so sorry, don’t think I’m going to get to the blog tag after all.  Well, let’s see if I can right now… Ok, six random things about me.  1.  I do everything in a particular order.  For instance, my shower must be done in a particular order otherwise I’ll forget to wash a random body part.  Last week I showered and didn’t wash my hair and forgot to wash my feet.  2.  I have to tap pop cans before I open them.  The spray people!  Like it ever helps.  3.  I sleep with a sweatshirt.  And you can barely tell it’s a sweatshirt because it’s in such ridiculous condition.  End of subject.  4.  I smell E’s ears.  And face.  5.  I love Peter Cetera.  And I’ve been to a concert.  6.  I eat the same thing for breakfast every day.  And have been doing so for years now.  And if E makes pancakes all I can think about is my blueberry nutri-grain waffles until I eat them the next day.  The end.

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A List of Sorts

Okay.  I’m coming to the realization that I may never get to the birth story.  And you all may have to live with it.  No, really, I have to get it down in words eventually.  Just not now.  Anywho, my brain is fried and I’m only feeling capable of a list to get my thoughts out.  So here it is…

1. Teddy.  Oh my fat little man.  We had his one month well visit today and the big boy is well, big.  10 pounds, 12 ounces to be exact.  Talk about putting on the pounds.  I love it.  I love his fat little face and his fat little neck and his fat little rolls on his legs.  He’s a healthy little man.  75th percentile for weight and head circumference and 90th percentile for height… you know what that means, his head isn’t too big for his body!  Woo Hoo! 
2. So part of the reason he is so fat is because we have switched over to formula.  I’m done with the boobs.  I know.  Already?  Well, without going into it… let’s just say that between the lactation consultant visits, and the breastfeeding, formula feeding to supplement, and pumping pumping pumping (oh lord I was so tired of pumping) I was just not cut out for breastfeeding.  I never could seem to get to a point where I could produce enough milk for the little beast, which is most likely due to my hypothyroidism, so I just decided that spending 2-2.5 hours of a 3 hour cycle feeding/pumping was just too much.  Not to mention that I have to actually to keep up with Jack and the rest of our lives.  And although it was probably one of the hardest decisions I’ve had to make in a while (especially considering this is probably going to be the last baby I give birth to) it was the best decision I could have made for our family.  I’m so much happier and on top of things and everyone else is happier and more laid back… probably because Mommy isn’t freaking out.
3. So, I’m sick.  Woo Hoo.  I’ve got a ridiculous cold and my voice sounds like a thirteen year old boy’s.  It is so much fun, holding back coughs, while feeding Teddy, to the point that I feel like I’m going to turn blue and washing my hands so much that they feel like Brillo pads and sting and bleed.  Oh, yeah, it’s fun.  Man, I’m tired of being sick.
4. Jack!  Jack is doing surprisingly well.  Despite his inability to speak in an inside voice while Teddy is sleeping, his great love of growling in Teddy’s face, and his new favorite feat of climbing up the side of the crib to pull Teddy’s swaddling blanket off of him or throw Ralphie at him or steal one of his “baby suckers” or growl in his face.  Yeah, he’s a turd.  But for the most part he is just hilarious and keeps us in stitches with his ridiculousness.  Like how he says beautiful… beaur u iful. 
5. The tree is up!  And decorated!
6. The Christmas cards have arrived… now I just have to address all 100 of them.  Ugh.
7. The Christmas shopping is moving along.  Still quite a bit to go… but it’s coming!  Woo Hoo!

So things are going well.  For now.  haha!  We’re still not getting any sleep at all… Teddy can’t seem to make it more than three hours in a row at night (oh, but during the day, I’m sure he’d sleep 8 in a row if I let him).  But you get used to it and you just sort of chug along.  I have to say, I love this.  I love having two boys.  I love looking over at the couch and seeing E burping Teddy while snuggling with Jack.  I love juggling it all.  I never thought I’d say that!  And while it certainly is not easy, it’s just so wonderful having these two little people in our lives.  And this time around is so much more laid back.  I find us laughing so much.  And I’m just so in love.  With it all.  And this is coming from one seriously sleep deprived, sick, unshowered, hungry woman.  haha!!

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Whew!

Ok, so I have about five seconds to whip up a post… here goes.  Should I tell you all about the gruesome details of the delivery*, the superfun epidural migraine and the epidural blood patch to fix it, the low milk supply (which, once again led to no pooping or peeing in my newborn), or the ridiculous schedule of breastfeeding, followed by bottle feeding, followed by pumping OHMY!  No no no… let’s just look at some pictures of my kids.  They make it all worth it.

Someone is enjoying his old bouncy seat almost as much as he did two years ago.

Look familiar? hehehe

I love these little hands!!He looks just like Jack did at this age.

He looks a lot like Jack did at this age... only fuzzier (hehehe).

I’m too lazy to find an old one of Jack.  You’ll just have to take my word for it, for now.

(*)  HUGE baby + small mommy = 3rd degree tear

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Teddy

E here . . .

Theodore (“Teddy”) Evan George
8 lbs, 6 oz
20.5 inches
4:17 pm

Mom and baby are doing well.

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Still. Here.

No baby yet.  But I’ve got a doctor’s appointment tomorrow morning.  And I’m fairly certain that I’ll be begging for her to induce me immediately.  Because seriously, the pain and discomfort I’m dealing with at this point is making me crazy.  I am literally watching the clock all day long, waiting for contractions.  And after several days without any, I’ve actually had a busy day today. 

The fact that I’ve had several contractions today is not getting my hopes up in any way at all… I spent all Thursday and Friday of last week with contractions 10 minutes apart.  Called the doctor’s office, concerned that I had to be progressing and afraid that my water would break and I’d already be 5cm.  So they had me come in.  And of course I had to see Dr. McDreamy… I’m not sure you recall, but I HIGHLY embarrassed myself, in front of him while (heavily drugged) I was in labor with Jack.  Anywho, he confirmed for me that I was, in fact, NOT in labor.  STILL only 2cm dilated.  And was dealing with a little FALSE LABOR.  dammit.  So, for now, I am ignoring all contractions.  Sort of. 

In other news, I’ve also been struggling with the most ridiculous ligament pain in my lower abdomen.  By the early evening, it is difficult to walk, lift my legs (especially one at a time), climb the stairs, roll over in bed, and my favorite get out of bed… blah blah blah.  It sucks.  And if I have a particularly busy day, I am beside myself with pain and discomfort.  Soooo… with any girlfriend, late in pregnancy, I’d be telling her to walk walk walk – that’s always good!  And that’s all I want to do, but if I do, I feel terrible.  So I sit.  And watch the clock.  OK, that’s enough bitching.  I’m so over listening to myself complaining.  Mom, I feel so bad for you… listening to me piss and moan two sometimes three times a day… it must be killing you.

So while I’m sitting and watching the clock, enjoy some pumpkin carving photos!

An old pro at scooping out the goop.

 

The finished product.

Having a conversation with Grandpa's pumpkin.

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Our Little Jacker-doodle-doo

The turkey boy has taken a back seat in the blog-world lately… so I thought it was about time I posted some cute pictures of our little handful (which is an understatement these days).  He’s been giving us a run for our money these days and the whining is enough to send us to the brink, but he couldn’t possibly be any cuter.  And the stuff coming out of his mouth these days is just hilarious.  What a kid.

This one is from a week or so ago.  Grandma and Grandpa Z were babysitting and got some great shots of him swinging in the backyard.  Man, he’s a cutie.

Grandma and Grandpa Z took Jack to the mountains this Saturday for some outside fun and a picnic with Aunt Robbin and Uncle Christopher.  Jack was beside himself before leaving, going on and on about “go to the mountains, Grandpa and Grandpa,” (his way of saying Grandma and Grandpa), “go see Aunt Robbin!!”  The boy loves his Aunt Robbin.

Throwing rocks with Uncle Christopher.  Thanks for the great photos Grandpa Z.

E and I took Jack to the “pumpkin patch” this weekend to pick out some pumpkins.  What a hoot.  He was so fired up and took the whole process so seriously.  I took about 700 photos and got about two with him looking at the camera.  Oh, the joy of taking a toddler’s picture.

So, it was a great weekend.  We had a nice little break from the turkey boy and were able to get a boat-load of things accomplished… my hair is done and the guest room is officially ready.  And then we had a nice relaxing family day on Sunday – no pressure, no errand running to do, no contractors in the house.  Just a beautiful fall day, hanging out together.

I had my 39 week appointment this morning… and I’m still at 2 cm.  We didn’t discuss the whole induction topic any further, mainly because I’m not really that interested (right this second) in “rushing” the whole process.  Hopefully, things will just happen soon, so I can have a little relief.  I’m not scheduled to go back until next week Wednesday (my due date)… so we’ll see what happens.

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Ok, So I’m Not 400 Months Pregnant

36 weeks

No, not 400, just 36.  36 weeks!!  People, it is October!  29 days until my due date!  OHmygoodness this is really sinking in.  You’d think that I would have had this revelation last week, with the news I had at my doctor’s appointment.  Anywho…

I’m obviously in better spirits this week.  Although, at my appointment today, my doctor did confirm that I’m pretty much right where I was last week.  Which shouldn’t be a surprise, considering the only strenuous thing I did all week long was cough.  And I’m sure that’s all I’ll continue to do until next week around this time.  E has been begging me to hold out until next week Thursday, due to his ridiculous schedule.  So I guess that means I won’t be heading to the gym any time soon.  And you know I’d be there, if it weren’t for his request.  Right.

So, let’s see, what else is going on… I’m as big as a house and pretty damn uncomfortable pretty much all of the time.  For whatever reason though, I’m feeling pretty good today… I’m guessing it has something to do with that sticky bun/cinnamon roll, whatever the hell it was it was good, that I ate in three seconds this morning after my doctor’s appointment.

That’s about it for now.  I’m hoping to post about Jack sometime soon and I’ve got a love list I’d like to whip up as well, so stay tuned.  Oh, and the nursery!  Almost done.  As soon as we get the curtains up I’ll post some pictures.  Have a great week!

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400 Months Pregnant and Counting

WARNING:  PROCEED WITH CAUTION!! 

EXTREMELY NEGATIVE and BITCHY ATTITUDE TOWARD THE GLORIOUS STATE OF PREGNANCY FOLLOWS

OK, so is it me or have I been pregnant for way too long.  Sure, it’s actually only 34 weeks and 6 days… which truly is not even 9 months pregnant… or is 9 months pregnant when you are at your due date?  Anywho, I’ve come to the realization that I am currently in hell and must have a huge sign on the underside of my belly that says, “STARE, HARD AND LONG PEOPLE.”  Because that is all anyone who looks at me does these days.  And let me tell you it’s really starting to annoy the shit out of me.

So, why am I in hell, you ask.  Let me tell you why.  I think I could make a list…

1. The heartburn.  Is so unbelievably ridiculous that I sometime spontaneously throw up in my mouth.  I’m NOT joking.  And anything and everything will give me heartburn.  Including an empty stomach.  And water.
2. Oh my aching back.  Sleep is so fun.  One hour on left side, back ache on the right side.  Flip over.  One hour on right side, back ache on left side.  Stop, heeeeeeeeave ho out of bed to pee and start again!
3. Belly ache.  So not only do I have braxton hicks if I do just about anything for too long, but my belly literally feels like it’s going to give way.  And any pants, including underpants irritate me.  The muscles actually hurt from having anything touching them.  Totally annoying.  Not to mention how sensitive my belly is if I just bump it up against the kitchen counter or if Jack does a flying leap across the room onto my belly.  Which seems to be a new game with him these days.  I flinch every time he walks by me because I never know when the kid is going to pounce on me.
4. I just can’t describe this one in one word.  I was walking down a somewhat steep hill the other day, at Jack’s school, and all of a sudden I felt like the baby was so low that I had to walk with my legs further apart.  Not a comfortable feeling.  It comes and goes and I’m hoping it actually means that the baby is low or has dropped (or whatever), unlike at my last appointment when I told my OB that he felt like he must be really low and she said that he wasn’t.  At all.
5. Lastly, which I’m fairly certain is not accurate, I just can’t come up with anything else right this second and I’m getting tired of sitting in this position.  Anyway, yeah, so I seem to be coming down with something.  But I refuse to admit to being “sick” because it is just so ridiculously unfair that you can even get sick at 400 months pregnant.  The main symptom… a cough.  A nice, hearty, shake your whole body, and use all of your abdominal muscles at once, coughing up a lung kind of cough.  So the belly ache in combination with the cough.  Awesome.

On a positive note, I haven’t been constipated in a whole week!  Yeah, so as you can see I’m enjoying this pregnancy tremendously, these days.  I was planning on waiting until after my doctor’s appointment tomorrow to update you all on my status, but I just couldn’t wait to get it all out of my system.

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