Knock on Some Wood Before You Read This

So, I don’t think I went into our whole potty training ordeal over here.  I think all that happened in the middle of the 30 day project, so you all probably got the idea we were potty training because of this.  Anyway, so I decided to get started with it about mid-way through the week before Jack’s preschool spring break.  And it didn’t go so well.  He pretty much only went on the potty when he was sitting on it in front of the TV… for like an hour at a time.  Randomly he’d pee without realizing it and I’d make a big deal about it.  Anyway,  we made it almost all the way through spring break week without much progress… let me rephrase that.  With zero progress.  He had zero interest in learning or listening to how it worked.  He didn’t give a rip about any of the thousands of bribes I came up with.  As a matter of fact, somehow he usually managed to manipulate me into giving him what he wanted without doing much of anything at all.  And after watching him purposely pee his pants (to the point of straining so hard that I could see the veins in his neck) while I was on the phone (clearly an attempt to get some attention), I finally threw in the towel.  And decided to revisit it once he was out for the summer.

So last Monday, Jack woke up and I told him I needed to change his diaper.  I asked him if he wanted to wear a pull-up and he said no.  So when I tried to put on his diaper he told me he wanted to wear big boy pants.  Uh, ok.  So I put on the big boy pants and was quickly distracted by something or other.  And after a while he told me he needed to go poop on the potty.  So we ran over and put him on the potty.  And he peed.  He did this all day.  No accidents.  And the next day he started pooping on the potty as well.  Just like that.   And (knock on wood) as of last Monday, he has only had four accidents.  He’s been wearing pull-ups at night and big boy pants for naps.  And we’ve been keeping our regular everyday schedule… the pool, Target, playing outside, going for donuts or ice cream or whatever treat on the weekends.  The accidents have all happened while he’s been either disoriented after just waking from a nap or while totally distracted while playing.

Let me tell you how totally and completely stunned I am.  This kid is nothing but a challenge these days.  And while I’m sure it sounds like I’m tooting my horn over here all proud and annoying, but really, I just can’t help but tell everyone – how proud of him and excited I am for him.  That he has some sort of control in his life (and it is already starting to show that it makes him feel more at ease with life in general… if that makes sense).   This kid.  He constantly amazes me.  Like the other day… while he was playing with a fake phone.  Pushing the buttons and muttering under his breath and he says “goddammit”.  No idea where he learned that one.  And just now.  He’s walking around in his Elmo underpants.  With Teddy’s crocheted blanket draped over his shoulders.  He looks at me and says, “I’m a princess.”

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Um, I Was Trapped Under a Very Large Pile of Tissues… or Something Like That

Ok, so I took a month off.  Yeah, I wasn’t really planning on it, but I was so tired of the blog after the 30 day thing and I kept saying I’d write something tomorrow until it was like today and it’s been over a month.  So, yeah, sorry about the ridiculous hiatus and all, hope I didn’t worry anyone.  So here’s an update on us, list style.  Because I’m feeling listy.

1. Teddy.  My little tank.  Ted weighed in at his 6 month check up at about 18 and a half pounds.  I took him in last week, along with Jack (because Jack was sick) to have him checked out to see if he had an ear infection and at that point he was 19.5 pounds.  Then I took him in Wednesday (he was sick) and he was 20 lbs 2 oz.  Monster baby gained a pound in a week.  This kid amazes me.  Jack weighed in today (well visit… yeah, they’re getting really sick of seeing me) at 28 lbs.  hehe… Jack sprat…
2. So the other day when we were at the doctor’s office… which time is not really relevant.  Anywho, I held my hand out to catch the elevator door and it CLOSED ON MY HAND.  Not kidding.  I managed to grab the door with my other hand to sort of hold it open, meanwhile screaming in my ridiculous scratchy voice, from being sick, “HELP ME HELP ME!!”  Not kidding.  Then finally I realized I could open the door by hitting the elevator call button.  So I did.  Nothing is broken.  I just have a ridiculous bruise and a sore hand and a big time bruised ego.  Yeah, I had to go back there today.  For another checkup.  Geez.  I think they all thought I was nuts.  They were all really sweet about it and took good care of me and all.  But seriously, I can’t believe I did that.
3. Jack handled the whole elevator situation quite well.  Well, not at first he didn’t.  I thought he’d be traumatized for life.  But when we were leaving and the nurse and doctor were helping me out to the car (yeah, so I could feel stupid all the way to the car and they could see my complete wreck of a car and dig in my wreck of a purse full of dirty tissues to get my nasty keys out… geez) anywho, as we were all getting into the elevator on our way out, Jack says, “don’t do that again mommy… you got to be careful or you get your fingers pinched in the door.”  He reminded me again today as we arrived at the office.  Yeah, thanks.
4. So.  E, my wonderful husband got me a fantastic mother’s day gift.  A plane ticket to Chicago to visit Andrea (my BFF) for a long weekend, by myself.  No children!  Woo Hoo!  So last week Jack got sick – bad cold with some wheezing we had to treat with a nebulizer (at urgent care) and an inhaler (at home).  He was finally better by Thursday and I was to leave on Friday morning.  But by Thursday evening I was coming down with it.  And by Friday I was sporting a sore throat and a cough.  Long story short I had a terrible sore throat, cough, hardly a voice at all and my head and ears were plugged up so I could barely hear anything at all pretty much all weekend.  Yeah, it was a major bummer.  We still had a good time shopping and hanging out but I was feeling pretty bad and wasn’t sleeping much at all at night.  So, I’m still pining away for a weekend away… just hoping that maybe I’ll get another trip away from home for my birthday.  Or something like that.  A girl can dream, right?
5. Teddy is a rolling, scooting, tootin’ fool.  The tootin’ part was for fun.  Although he does poop like a champ.  Let me rephrase that.  He poops way too much.  I am changing, on average, six poopies a day… yes, I’m still changing Jack’s poopies too (I will revisit the potty training again soon… hopefully, but seriously if I wait long enough he’ll just do it himself, right?)… where was I?  Oh poopies.  Yeah, six a day, and one day I counted seven and then said “THAT’S ENOUGH!  I’VE OFFICIALLY HAD IT, YOU’VE HIT YOUR QUOTA FOR THE DAY AND YOU’RE GOING TO HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL YOUR FATHER GETS HOME TO GET THAT ONE CHANGED.”  For real.  So, where was I… rolling.  So yeah, he’s been rolling around like it’s his job for about a month now.  He rolled over at about five months then didn’t do it again for a few weeks then a few weeks later he started rolling around the room – just like Jack used to.  He’s a little chunky (uh, ya think, maybe 20 lbs????) so he has a hard time getting his fat legs under him to push up to crawl, so I get the sense he won’t crawl much or if so it’ll be late.  He sits up without help – which is awesome.  I’ve been working on that for a few weeks.  Starting with the bumbo, then the boppy (for a little less support), then a crash pillow, and now he’s pretty solid.  With an occasional fall, usually due to a larger force (aka Action Jackson knocking him over for fun because it’s fun to make him cry).
6. Jack is making me crazy.  I love him.  And he is so funny and fun.  But seriously.  He is making me crazy.  He has the devil in him.  The constant testing me and telling me no and the not listening and the freaking out I do on a regular basis to let him know that I’m almost crazy so you better get it together and listen to me mister or else you’ll see what crazy is all about, it’s all really making me crazy.  I do not enjoy the age of three.  The end.  I’m telling you.  The buttons have been pushed.  Oh have they been pushed my friends.  He says to me earlier today, “I’m sorry Mommy, I’m just acting like a lunatic.”  Don’t you know it.
7. So that’s about it for now.  I’ve been busy.  Sick and busy.  So I apologize for the ridiculous hiatus without explanation, until now.  Hopefully I will be back on a more regular basis.  Hope you’re all doing well!!!

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Day 27

Don’t even think about mentioning the fact that I had that ridiculous lapse in posting… and that the last three days are from today.

I wanna go even higher mamma!

Some days this job of mine is so hard I want to pull all my hair out.  And other days it is so much fun that it’s just plain criminal.  Jack came home from preschool a few hours early because he supposedly had a fever.  Which he did not really have.  So the day started out sort of not so awesome.  Then we had some fun outside and now I think we’re all gonna take a nap.  Criminal.

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Day 17

Birthday Boy... Mr. Attitude

Birthday Treats... from Polka Dot Bakeshop

Happy Birthday, my sweet little man.

Birthday Balloon

Where you going Mr. Caterpillar?

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Day 2

Somebody loves the Easter bunny.

We had our first Easter egg hunt of the season last Sunday.  It went very well… we got about 37 pictures of Jack with the Easter bunny.  He started out patting his leg and when we left we had to pry him off of his lap.  We were the last ones leaving.  I felt pretty bad for the poor kid dressed up in the costume.

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This is SO Much Longer Than I Had Intended

Let me start by thanking everyone for the sweet comments from the last post.  I can’t tell you all how much I appreciated it… it really does help to know that you’re not the only one that’s been through or is going through these types of problems.  It seems to be getting better around here.  For now, at least.  I’ve taken the advice of a friend (besides the deep breathing, which helps us both tremendously… which we’ve been working on since you brought it up a while ago, Jean) and found ways to wear Jack out inside the house.  I bought him one of those balls with a handle that he can bounce around on.  I can pretty much be doing just about anything and ask him if he can bounce around the ottoman! bounce over to the couch! bounce to the TV and back! bounce out to the mailbox and grab the mail!  Ok, so maybe not the last one.  But you get the idea.  I’m half paying attention talking on the phone, feeding Teddy, or making dinner and he’s bouncing til he’s sweaty.  We also pulled out the castle… and that’s wearing him out too.  Although the bouncy ball in the castle is a disaster.

So I’m not sure I had the chance to update you all on Teddy’s four month well baby visit.  You’ll be glad to know he is in the 90th percentile for weight, height and head circumference.  And you know what that means!  Yes, his head is in perfect proportion to his body.  In all seriousness, this child is huge.  16 pounds 6 ounces, as of maybe two weeks ago, so I’m sure by know he’s probably 30 pounds.  I can barely carry him in his carseat anymore and have almost thrown my back out many times picking him up off of the floor.  I checked back on Jack’s stats at his four month visit and he was almost a pound less… and he was a pound less than Teddy when he was born, so it looks like Teddy is off to the same start as Jack.  Something tells me that he’ll be more than 29 pounds when he’s almost three though.  While we’re on the subject of comparing the two… I happened to be reading a few old posts from when Jack was about Teddy’s age.  And I was totally surprised.  I have these memories of Jack being a super high maintenance baby.  And I’m always telling people how laid back Teddy is.  But in the old posts I talk about how laid back Jack is… huh?  Apparently I’m the one who is a little more laid back this time around.  I guess.

So, let’s see, what else?  Teddy is much happier with tummy-time than Jack ever was.  He pushes up off of the floor with his arms and scoots around a little bit.  He can sit up pretty well, with help, so I’m thinking it won’t be long before he’ll be sitting unassisted.  And while he seems incredibly strong, he has absolutely no interest in rolling over.  He rolled over about two weeks ago from front to back – two times in one day – and hasn’t even tried since.  Turkey.  He’s pretty content doing just about anything, so I try to put things out of his reach to motivate him.  He’ll try for a minute or two and then he’ll move on to something else or get distracted by Action Jackson.  Maybe if I lay out a steak dinner that’ll motivate him.

When I took Teddy in for his four month well baby visit the doctor said she’d like me to take him to see a specialist for his flat spot.  Yes, he has a flat spot.  And let me start by saying that the kid spends all of his awake time on his tummy, in the exer-saucer or sitting in my lap.  He spends very little time flat on his back anymore, except for in the carseat (which isn’t flat on his back) and in bed.  I’ve noticed the spot for quite a while now and have been working on it.  Jack had the beginnings of one at his 2 month visit so I got plenty of information at that time on how to help the situation.  And let me tell you, I have pulled all the old tricks and nothing seems to be working.  And I know what the problem is.  The kid sleeps flat on his back.  Spread eagle.  Head straight up.  It doesn’t matter what I do, he somehow manages to get himself back into his zen position.  So, yeah, I’m hoping that we don’t have to go the helmet route.  I’m sure he’d love that.  But I suppose it would be better than that shelf on the back of his head.  I swear you could set your drink on it.  Poor kid.  I was just thinking… if he did have to get a helmet… we could put flame stickers on it and put some sun glasses on him and have his pictures done.  We could just tell his buddies when he’s in high school that he was really into the biking scene at the time.

Ok, I have so much more… Teddy’s eating oatmeal (not rice cereal – not a fan, just like his brother).  Jack helped make pancakes this weekend.  And I’ve finally taken pictures of the kitchen remodel.  I’ll try to get those up later in the week.

Jack helping Daddy make pancakes. With his "rainbow shirt" on over his pj's. I literally have to peal that shirt off of him when he's sleeping.

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When He’s Not Whacking Him With Dinosaurs

Check out the little entertainer... can't stop gabbing for three seconds.

I had to include this one. It is the perfect image of the two of them. Action Jackson next to Mr. Chill.

So before Teddy was born we bought him a flat lamb, much like Ralphie. But somewhere along the way I decided it was too girlie. And I've been meaning to order him a bear. Anyway, Jack gave Teddy fake Ralphie (he really calls him that). And well, somebody reeeally likes him.

Yesterday we went "cabin fever camping". For entertainment. Because it was day three in a row of no preschool... Wednesday was a snow day (because of the dusting of snow we got). Anyway, Jack decided he was scared of the shark tent. So I had to spend the day in there too. Let's just say feeding Teddy in a cramped shark tent with Jack shouting and bouncing around full tilt is downright totally exhausting.

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Funk and Some Other Junk

A list… because I’m lazy.

1. Teddy bear.  What a laid back kid.  It just totally amazes me what a completely different kid he is.  He’s so mellow and just rolls with the punches.  He wakes up everyday and plays in his crib.  I never feel like I have to rush in there.  He just patiently waits, chatting away to himself.  When I do get to him he lights right up at the sight of me.  He’s still waking in the night.  Two nights this week I put a little less than a teaspoon of rice cereal in his last bottle of the night (BOO HISS… terrible mother, you should never, tisk tisk tisk, blah blah blah) and he woke up at 5am, then 8.  Which is much better than what he usually does without it… 2 or 3am, then 5 or 6am, then up for the day at 7:30.  Sooo… I’m not sure I’ll continue it.  I know I’m not supposed to do it, I’m just dieing for longer stretches of sleep.  I just don’t get it… the kid is a tank.  He’s huge and eats like a man.  Yet, doesn’t even seem close to sleeping through the night.  Am I way off here?  Thinking that he should be??  I need to revisit the Baby Whisperer and see if there’s another route I can take.  Otherwise we just might stick with a little cereal for mommy’s sanity.
2. JackJackJackJack Jack.  Yesterday Jack told me (when I was half paying attention) that he was going to hit Teddy with his piccolo-dactyl (a terradactyl with a body of a piccolo… Little Einsteins).  And he did.  Repeatedly.  All of which happened over the course of a few seconds and it didn’t register what he had said until I heard Teddy freaking out.  Today he couldn’t resist himself, while I was on the phone with my Dad (the first time talking to him since his hip replacement surgery), and he sat next to Teddy on his gym thingie (with the danglie stuff overhead) and kicked him in the head.  He kicked his brother’s head.  On purpose.  I know it was on purpose, because I watched it happen.  What happened to my good little boy?  Sure he’s been a button pusher for quite some time, but seriously he’s never been one to hurt people.
3. I’ve been doing the South Beach Diet for a little over a week now.  And honestly it is a total joke.  I am the biggest cheater ever.  I make up my own rules (I can have one glass of wine, honey with my yogurt, Weight Watcher desserts, oh and this peanut butter cup isn’t going to hurt me, crepes for Christopher’s birthday – it was his birthday for pete’s sake, I had to, cupcakes for Obama’s inauguration) and then I can understand why it’s not working.  So about two pounds fell off pretty quickly.  And that’s been about it.
4. I’m sure you’re wondering how the 30 Day Shred is going, right?  Well it’s not.  It was going great.  I was into about a week of Level 2 and somehow started doing something very wrong and found it very difficult to do regular everyday tasks because my lower back was in so much pain.  And just when I think it’s starting to get better I do about 700 too many squats while holding Teddy (which is something he likes too much to help lull him to sleep) and I’m right back where I started.  Geez.  I’m so tired of this baby weight.  I feel like someone is following me around all day, and every time I turn around I realize it’s just my ass.  And this wrinkley old lady belly.  God forbid I actually look down at it while blow drying my hair upside down.  It’s freaks me right out.  It reminds me of Oprah’s flappy flag arms.  Just a flapping in the wind.
5. Today is the first day of sun we’ve had in about a week.  Or so it seems.  And seriously that is like an eternity down here.  It’s usually so sunny here that I’m enjoying the clouds and gloom.  Nope.  I am so ready for the sun.  And the warm weather.  And long walks in the evening.  And wine on the patio.  And taking the kiddos to the Y pool.  And playgroup at the park.  The sprinkler, and popsicles, and cookouts, and flip-flops.    Thank goodness January is almost over.

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I Have to Make This Quick Because I’m Pretty Sure I Haven’t Peed Yet Today

A list!  What a surprise!  And only because I do not think it’s possible for me to think and communicate in any other form… 

1. Sick sick sick.  Three weeks ago Jack was sick, the following week I was sick (very very sick), then Teddy was sick (and in the middle of it all Jack was sick again with a stomach bug… yuck), and now Jack is sick again!  Oh my holy goodness (a Jackism) I cannot take it anymore!!
2. So, shortly after my rainbows and butterflies post the walls came crumbling down, I got sick, went a little batty, got a glimpse at what it’s like to see a sick newborn and I quickly had a fantastic panic attack.  I suppose that’s what I get for gloating about how wonderful life is.  No, really, in all seriousness, the anxiety is pretty difficult to deal with this time around.  Luckily I have a great support system and I’m working on it.  So hopefully it’ll only get better from here on out.
3. The Jackisms these days are killing me…  Teddy has been referred to as a Grumy Wizard (Little Einsteins) and a Grumpy Old Troll (Dora), dinosaurs are dinoswords, holy goodness, he holds a star on the Christmas tree and says “star light, star light”,  when he’s in a good mood he gives E or myself a hug and says, “Merry Christmas, Daddy”, and he told his preschool teacher (Miss Tammey) that he sat on Santa’s lap and asked for boobie traps for Christmas.
4. I am still working on the birth story.  I swear.
5. I’m not sure I will ever finish the Christmas shopping.  Let alone get it all wrapped.
6. Teddy continues to amaze me with his insatiable hunger and inability to sleep any longer than four hours in a row (with an occasional five hour stretch… usually followed by a two or three hour stretch).  So we still are not getting very much sleep.
7. Speaking of sleep… last night Jack woke up with a fever right in the middle of Teddy’s long stretch.  Then again in the middle of his short stretch.  And E somehow ended up sleeping on the floor in Jack’s room.  What a way to start your 34th year of life.  Speaking of which…
8. Happy Birthday babe.  Hopefully your day is much better than our night last night.
9. Sarah… so sorry, don’t think I’m going to get to the blog tag after all.  Well, let’s see if I can right now… Ok, six random things about me.  1.  I do everything in a particular order.  For instance, my shower must be done in a particular order otherwise I’ll forget to wash a random body part.  Last week I showered and didn’t wash my hair and forgot to wash my feet.  2.  I have to tap pop cans before I open them.  The spray people!  Like it ever helps.  3.  I sleep with a sweatshirt.  And you can barely tell it’s a sweatshirt because it’s in such ridiculous condition.  End of subject.  4.  I smell E’s ears.  And face.  5.  I love Peter Cetera.  And I’ve been to a concert.  6.  I eat the same thing for breakfast every day.  And have been doing so for years now.  And if E makes pancakes all I can think about is my blueberry nutri-grain waffles until I eat them the next day.  The end.

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A List of Sorts

Okay.  I’m coming to the realization that I may never get to the birth story.  And you all may have to live with it.  No, really, I have to get it down in words eventually.  Just not now.  Anywho, my brain is fried and I’m only feeling capable of a list to get my thoughts out.  So here it is…

1. Teddy.  Oh my fat little man.  We had his one month well visit today and the big boy is well, big.  10 pounds, 12 ounces to be exact.  Talk about putting on the pounds.  I love it.  I love his fat little face and his fat little neck and his fat little rolls on his legs.  He’s a healthy little man.  75th percentile for weight and head circumference and 90th percentile for height… you know what that means, his head isn’t too big for his body!  Woo Hoo! 
2. So part of the reason he is so fat is because we have switched over to formula.  I’m done with the boobs.  I know.  Already?  Well, without going into it… let’s just say that between the lactation consultant visits, and the breastfeeding, formula feeding to supplement, and pumping pumping pumping (oh lord I was so tired of pumping) I was just not cut out for breastfeeding.  I never could seem to get to a point where I could produce enough milk for the little beast, which is most likely due to my hypothyroidism, so I just decided that spending 2-2.5 hours of a 3 hour cycle feeding/pumping was just too much.  Not to mention that I have to actually to keep up with Jack and the rest of our lives.  And although it was probably one of the hardest decisions I’ve had to make in a while (especially considering this is probably going to be the last baby I give birth to) it was the best decision I could have made for our family.  I’m so much happier and on top of things and everyone else is happier and more laid back… probably because Mommy isn’t freaking out.
3. So, I’m sick.  Woo Hoo.  I’ve got a ridiculous cold and my voice sounds like a thirteen year old boy’s.  It is so much fun, holding back coughs, while feeding Teddy, to the point that I feel like I’m going to turn blue and washing my hands so much that they feel like Brillo pads and sting and bleed.  Oh, yeah, it’s fun.  Man, I’m tired of being sick.
4. Jack!  Jack is doing surprisingly well.  Despite his inability to speak in an inside voice while Teddy is sleeping, his great love of growling in Teddy’s face, and his new favorite feat of climbing up the side of the crib to pull Teddy’s swaddling blanket off of him or throw Ralphie at him or steal one of his “baby suckers” or growl in his face.  Yeah, he’s a turd.  But for the most part he is just hilarious and keeps us in stitches with his ridiculousness.  Like how he says beautiful… beaur u iful. 
5. The tree is up!  And decorated!
6. The Christmas cards have arrived… now I just have to address all 100 of them.  Ugh.
7. The Christmas shopping is moving along.  Still quite a bit to go… but it’s coming!  Woo Hoo!

So things are going well.  For now.  haha!  We’re still not getting any sleep at all… Teddy can’t seem to make it more than three hours in a row at night (oh, but during the day, I’m sure he’d sleep 8 in a row if I let him).  But you get used to it and you just sort of chug along.  I have to say, I love this.  I love having two boys.  I love looking over at the couch and seeing E burping Teddy while snuggling with Jack.  I love juggling it all.  I never thought I’d say that!  And while it certainly is not easy, it’s just so wonderful having these two little people in our lives.  And this time around is so much more laid back.  I find us laughing so much.  And I’m just so in love.  With it all.  And this is coming from one seriously sleep deprived, sick, unshowered, hungry woman.  haha!!

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